you do the math, short version

because folks sometime complain that i go on too long, here's the readers digest version:

$2.69 -- one gallon of store-brand whole milk (including high-heat pasteurization, growth hormones and prophylactic antibiotics at no extra charge) at demoula's market basket supermarkets.

$1.55 -- one quart of shaw farm whole milk (including low-heat pasteurization and absolutely no growth hormones or prophylactic antibiotics) at shaw farm in dracut.

$2.00 -- one quart of the same shaw farm whole milk at c'est on merrimack street in downtown lowell. (the real deal for health and flavor-conscious downtown residents who prefer not to drive over the river to dracut for their fix)

$2.69 -- one quart of the same shaw farm whole milk at market street market on market street in downtown lowell, (coincidentally the same price of a GALLON of demoula's), and that's not even counting the no-charge and patronizing song and dance about how it's supposedly only a dime more than at c'est, and the same price as over at shaw farm in dracut... even though you know it all to be BS.

like the mastercard people like to say--priceless.

you do the math

in my experience and experienced opinion, shaw farm sells the hands-down BEST quart of milk available for 100 miles. (i'd wager further, but i haven't had enough experience beyond that distance to unequivocally say, but lets just use 100 miles for starters, and then also say that i'd be willing to put that quart of shaw farm's up against anybody's anywhere anytime beyond that radius and be very happy to learn the difference). i also say experienced, because my grandparents ran just one of the family dairies, (my great aunt and second cousin ran another), and i was raised on the real stuff, straight from the cow, and i know just a little bit about that which i speak. (you remember those clips of the farmers hand-milking cows and squirting the milk straight into the impossibly cute kittens' faces there in the barn? that's my childhood right there, only barn cats are quite a bit nastier than they are cute if you try to get up close to them and give them a cuddle, so don't say you weren't warned). which is all a long way of saying that i can tell you, that when i wrote here a year or two back to say that c'est right here in downtown lowell purveying the sweet pureness of shaw farm milk is one of the greatest things there is about shangri-lowell, that i wasn't just kidding around, or committing some offense of hyperbole--this stuff is the gold standard against which all other local milk can and should be judged.

so, first of all, we don't really need to talk about demoula's retailing their generic hormone and antibiotic-infused whole milk gallons at $2.69, because it's the kind of stuff that's not even really the same thing, and that's all that needs to be said about that, thank you very much. (but keep that $2.69 in your head for a bit, because there's a quiz later).

which brings us, second of all, to shaw farm's website, upon which one can place an order for a full quart of the pure, unadulterated, low-temperature pasteurized, (ask me about pasteurization temperature sometime, and what it means to the taste of a quart of milk), nectar of the gods for $1.55, plus deposit for the great clear quart glass bottle in which is comes.

which takes us, third of all, to my hands-down favorite downtown milk dealer, c'est, where convenience takes that very same quart and drops it off walking distance from the apartment for a flat, clean and even $2.00, plus deposit for the great clear quart glass bottle in which it comes, and, i have to say, that is fair enough indeed, and i am never so happy to pay for quality as i am each and every week that i drop into c'est for my fix.

HOWEVER

today, owing, clearly, to the irresistible popularity of the sweet, white gold, and my having been busy yesterday getting things taken care of in advance of heading into the gahden to catch the bruins so i neglected to get there before the weekly allotment ran out, i was faced with the horns of a terrible dilemma. to skim, or not to skim... (the whole was sold out...)

trust me, if that skim shaw farm stuff was all there was downtown to be had, i'd have snatched up the blue-capped quart (almost) as eagerly as the red. if you've ever disliked skim milk for how watery and blu-ish it seems to you to be, try a quart of shaw farm's and be amazed. you'd think you were drinking 2% at least. however, being aware of all these things, as any junkie would be, i recalled also that the market street market has also now taken to stocking the proverbial white honey, and, given my neighbors' recent exhortations to continue to support the local grocer out of "buy local" principle as much as anything else, i decided to head down the block to get my fix there instead.

oh, i try always so diligently to remain positive when it comes to the local establishments...

strike one--the red-topped bottles ring into the register there at a whopping $2.69 per quart, net of the returned great and clear glass bottle in which these things come. yes, that's right, for the same $2.69 price that you can get a GALLON of "milk" (i guess the hormones and antibiotic additives can be considered "free") at demoula's, you can cop a quart of the good stuff from the MSM'ers. yeah, yeah, it's worth the difference, but, then, see, here's my old swamp yankee dairy farmer point: c'est will give you that exact same beauty for $2.00, and, if you don't mind crossing the river to dracut, you could even get it for $1.55 at the source itself.

strike two is the extremely patronizing, presumptuous and condescending explanation i was given at the register by one of the proprietors when i asked to confirm that the price there was, indeed, $2.69, and observing that this seemed quite a lot for a quart of milk. "that's just 10 cents more than at c'est, and the same price as at shaw farm".

oh, yes, you can bet i wasted no time after refrigerating the goods to head on out to the web when i got home, to establish that the shaw farm price is really $1.55, and, it should go without saying, because i already knew the "10 cents" line about c'est was an outright lie, that strike three is that this guy looked right into my eyes and didn't respect me enough to even bother to tell the truth.

you know, if it's $2.69 for some relevant reason, like, say, you like to make over a buck on each bottle you sell, well, it's up to me to decide whether or not i'm going to stand for it and we have a fair situation either way. but to denigrate and lie about a competitor who has done nothing but right by me since i moved here is to take that proverbial step beyond the pale.

my grandparents not only taught me dairy farming, but they also taught me the importance of doing business with honest people. now i'm not saying that the "10 cents" crack was premeditated or indicative of a larger problem, but i am saying that my grandparents didn't raise me to let something like that go without making an important personal decision.

my decision today is that i don't need to be buying my milk, or much of anything else for that matter, from the market street market until some sort of honest and better sense might some day prevail.

until then, and likely for a very long time after, because i love c'est for all that they do here downtown, in addition to $2.00 shaw farm whole milk quarts, and serving as a drop-off point for the world peas csa vegetable shares, and displaying and selling linda mccluskey paintings, and gratis consulting on the decoration of my building atrium with my building decorating committee, and for all that i know they will continue to do as honest, involved local merchants.

you can't ask for more than that, and, the good news is today, you don't have to.

thanks, c'est!

the party that never stops

b's/flyers down at the gahden tonight. (taking the 5:10 out of lowell and hitting the beer works for a burger before if you've also got your tickets). soccer and beers with the favorite tuesday night barmaid on tuesday night. (who may or may not be ready for us all to "drop by" later this winter when she's moved to london and we're over there crawling pubs and hitting the big soccer venues for the weekend, but more on that later). rehearsal this wednesday night for tex-mas eve on the following wednesday night. (i may be positively mediocre, but i'm partnered up with someone who's both wonderful and specialized in arranging around mediocrity, or so he says, so stay tuned for that, too--should be entertaining enough, even if only in a gong show sorta way). company holiday party and then melvern taylor and his fabulous meltones down at toad in cambridge for their usual thursday night gig on thursday. (there is not a better way to spend your thursday nights than to start yourself out with a little melvern, and you can quote me on that). i'm sure there's something going on this coming friday and saturday night too, but who can keep things straight so far into the future? (you know, the way i spend my weeks, that i sure can't).

wednesday night, december 23rd, it's tex-mas eve!

thumbs up

thumbs up to:

the old court for updating their upstairs space--the walls are warmer, the side-seating more integrated with the room, (not to mention comfortable), and the tap guinness is still the perfect go-with for the music.

jenny riddle and her band--what a great set--speakermute, los wundertwins del rap, the farewells, and the cold pilgrims (and to whomever may have been on before speakermute and i got there--not a better multiple bill to be had anywhere in the city, except possibly the 119 gallery and the lowell & behold gig, but a man can only be in so many places at once, and ya gotta give a bump when its a benefit for the food bank).

the hynes tavern for putting on so many great bands these days, like red devil lye this past friday, and you absolutely cannot beat an $8 pitcher of PBR as a go-with for all that, either.

jen kearney and the lost onion and their recording of their christmas video for cometolowell.com (it's due to go up on wednesday, so try the link again in a couple days)--the cometolowell website may need also to be excused for lacking links to melvern taylor (and his fabulous meltones, of course) frank morey, evan goodreau, and about a thousand others, (see those listed above for starters), but starting with jen does buy a certain amount of latitude.

the village smokehouse for remodeling their bar space to put in a stage where there always ought to be one--i was delayed from catching the reverend jj's birthday sets this past friday (see $8 PRB pitcher, the hynes tavern and red devil lye above if you need background, and i did get there for the load out and the last call for the birthday boy and his gang over at the worthen house, so i'm taking a mulligan on that one) but given that jen kearney and the lost onion will be there in january, there will be plenty of upcoming and great opportunity to give it a good listen.

everybody for making it a very merry christmas and hanukkah and name-your-holiday season this year--i won't name names in order to protect the innocent, but i've been invited to share the season with so many near and dear people to me, and i can't possibly convey thanks enough to them all.

have a merry!

almost!

started off the evening yesterday down the road apiece, having beers with my soccer buddies, and recounting and retelling the story of our extremely enjoyable and productive season. i knew better than to expect it would wrap up early, but i also knew that there's only so late a collection of a dozen married guys, despite the one single one, is going to (be able to) stay out, so i figured 4 hours was a reasonable approximation...

well, the berkshire ale was especially tasty, and one thing leading to another, so it was the better part of 11 and five hours afore i got back up the road toward shangri-lowell and a stop in at the hynes tavern to catch a couple sets by red devil lye. arte kenyon (their usual bassist, and a great one indeed) was out recovering from his recent appointment with the orthopedist, but his replacement, that i feel absolutely remiss in not retaining his name, but, believe me, i'm going to find out in a way that we all can remember, was extraordinary, and the blues from him and the rest of the boys--justin, carl, steve and james--was COOKIN'. Crankin'. Suh-WEEEEET.

so now it's that proverbial past midnight, and it's high time to stash the wheels downtown so the rest of the evening won't end up in any inconvenient way, (you'll be pleased to know and i'm proud to say that i kept things moderate and circumspect around the tap right through then), and a quick dash over to the smokehouse to see what the new PA and stage setup is like, and...

of course i was too late to catch the end of the right reverend jj's birthday bash sets because time, tide and rock and roll wait for no man, but i WAS able to fulfill my little personal pleasure to play roadie for the band, so i did get to help break down and carry out the amps so that we'd all have time to get over to the worthen for last call...

so watch this space and your calendar for music at the smokehouse. the stage is proper and properly set up at the back, away from the windows, (where the banquettes uselessly used to be), so as to really make the room--all possibilities. the PA looks good (yes, i do regret not getting there in time to hear it) and i fully expect it'll be a new regular spot for me. (jen kearney and the lost onion will be there in january, for one thing).

so, we rejoin the sojourn over at the worthen house... and the place was PACKED. i have no idea what caused the stars to align on this one, but it was a great crowd and a great vibe in which to enjoy the last retail beer of the evening, before heading out for some after-hours music with the right reverend. somebody even brought a ukulele (i was not traveling with mine, which is probably a very good thing for it) so i got to have a lil fun for myself, too.

cannot wait 'til Tex-Mas Eve!!!

the designated hittee

apparently, in addition to an under-achieving and over-paid shortstop, the red sox front office also feels compelled each year now to feature a surgically repaired designated hittee among their pitching staff. as classically as john smoltz and brad penny and paul byrd tried to define the position in 2009, you have to like our chances to build on their past example and achieve new heights of hittability in 2010--the boston red sox are now the proud owners of the professional baseball contract of one boof (nee john paul, though boof had his first names legally changed, and you know i wouldn't make this stuff up) bonser, for the expense of the proverbial player to be named later.

for those of you who don't regularly play fantasy baseball and hence don't honestly come by these useless knowings in the course of their daily lives, let me share with you the great (great as in large) news that boof literally embodies the full corpulent spirit of brad penny at his corpulent brad penny-est, combined with the perennial pitching futility of paul byrd--boof followed up his rookie season era of 5.10 with a sophomore effort of 6.16.

of course, i could be wrong, and maybe boof stuck with that austerity diet the twins had him on while he was throwing apart his pitching shoulder, but i'm thinking now that both curt schilling and brad penny are off the roster, and since its been so many years since rich "el guapo" garces has graced the clubhouse, that there also needed to be somebody to fill those oversized shoes, to go with the oversized opponents' batting average.

i'm thinking, in vegas somewhere, somebody already has the line on how many leadoff homers curtis granderson is going to hit at fenway this year...

dumb as a box of cobblestones, and, yeah, i mean you, dan phelps

in the past couple of weeks, FOUR horrific traffic accidents have sent four involved pedestrians to various local hospitals with various extremes of critical, life-threatening injury. interestingly enough, for all the dire warnings conveyed in today's column on the sourge of cobblestones by our earnest danny-boy phelps, it's worth observing that in none of the incidents were the automobiles involved motoring across the apparently nefarious cobblestones that we are now being admonished to do without. in some of the cases, perhaps, the pedestrians were where and doing what they shouldn't, in addition to the autos. however, in all of the cases, the speed of the automobile involved was a critical element of the extent of the resulting injuries.

i live downtown. i watch all manner of vehicular and pedestrian chaos each and every day. at it's most dangerous, there are thousands of school students hitting the streets all at once while hundreds of cars are breaking every traffic rule in the book, from running red lights to illegal turns to constant failure to yield. at it's best, it's still a wild west of will-they-or-won't-they, and heaven forbid anyone guesses wrong on the directional intent of another. the police have consistently raised warning of the danger, and the need for better pedestrian behavior, but, to my mind, the safest step that could be taken would be to reduce the speed of the automobiles. to that end, it's very clear to me from living down here and seeing the contrasts, that the safest surface that there is downtown or anywhere else on which to drive, walk or simply sit on a park bench to enjoy, are our cobblestones.

beyond the safety issue, and on to that of cost and convenience, i would also add that, properly maintained, cobblestones are not the expensive boondoggle that danny-boy suggests and fears. anyone who has ever put in their own front walk, and chosen asphalt, has very soon regretted their decision. asphalt heaves. asphalt cracks. asphalt requires constant maintenance. and, it looks like crap. anyone who has ever chosen pavers as an alternative has very soon and for a long time after enjoyed their better judgment. pavers (like cobblestones) move with the frost, and nestle back into their interlocking spaces. pavers (unlike asphalt) do not degrade over time, and crumble or need replacement. yes, cobblestones will require extra effort while plowing in the winter, but, the good news is that a very simple crew of one or two men can re-seat any stones that may become dislodged if they are diligent and get to them in a timely fashion. and the results look GREAT.

i think danny boy needs to get a clue. i think danny boy ought to consider what it is that makes an anonymous, private donor come up with the big money (that wouldn't have been so big had the city properly maintained the stones over time, instead of screwing them up with asphalt patches and the like) to put things back to right. it's because cobblestones are safer. it's because cobblestones are beautiful. it's because, properly maintained, cobblestones can be cheaper, too. (ours haven't needed to be replaced in going on 200 years, and that's not a bad record).

if i were king, i'd have the asphalt removed from over the top of the cobblestones on both market and merrimack street, to go along with middle. i'd uncover them at the lower part of dutton, and over onto worthen. i'd have this entire heart of this beautiful and wonderful city restored to the original quality, appearance and rock-solid value of its past, and i'd ensure that artisans qualified to take care of them were always on the city payroll. and i'd suggest folks like danny boy who don't like it move to beautiful and scenic downtown chelmsford and see how they like that for an alternative.

lowell rocks!

devil vs the deep blue sea

today's paper of record (nods as usual to the mr mill city guys) headlines their front page with the patently offensive "coke vs pepsi" summary of what we're likely to have for choices to drink (aka sit in our vacant senate seat) in a few weeks. this headline may satisfy the statisticians regarding probability of outcome, but it nags at me for how presumptuous and offensive such a thing is just one layer beneath its surface.

first of all, i didn't ask for either of them to be on my ballot in a few weeks. in fact, an astounding majority of registered voters didn't ask for them to be on the ballot in a few weeks. in further point of irrefutable fact, even an overwhelming majority of party-registered registered voters did not ask for them to be on the ballot in a few weeks.

what we have here is a triumph of party over the best interests of the electorate, and it borders on fraud for how brazen it is. (for example, we the taxpayers who resoundingly did not ask for either of these candidates to be on our ballots in a few weeks were forced to pay for the process by which these miscreants will wind up there).

party over country is the new allegiance sworn by almost all of our elected politicians. forget an informed and enlightened debate about important issues, like global warfare, economic policy, healthcare for citizens. what we have is a knee-jerk cacophony of braying jackasses opposing anything about which the other side might be in favor, and if you don't believe me, just look to our wars in iraq and afghanistan, and our economic stimulous and bailout packages for examples. while the republicrats were in charge, we were told that we needed to be spending tens of billions every month to ostensibly pursue a policy of genocide against civilians in iraq and afghanistan, while coincidentally pursuing the possible capture of a few miscreant violent international criminals. while the republicrats were in charge, we were told that no amount of money, even into the trillions, was too small to aid and comfort our rapacious financial services industry executives, lest their ruin extend to our own. now, while the demicans are on top, we're being sold the same two bills of damaged goods, while the republicrats are bleating that somehow both policies are all of a sudden poison. it's hypocritical. it's even, arguably, criminal. (the patriot act, for one thing, is prima facie unconstitutional, though nobody with the "D" or the "R" designation has the balls to call that spade a spade, at the risk of upsetting their party bosses).

so here we are, with one of the hundred us senators to be decided by a coffee klatch of self-interested and profoundly selfish party hacks, who are pursuing the "D" or the "R" designation for the position with such rabid determination that it makes the head swim. (mike "i swallow" capistrano was liberally dosing his campaign ads with all the things, from karl rove to previous administration policies, that he was hoping to go to washington to oppose, and all the rest of them seemed just as eager to beg comparison to the bloated alcoholic who precedes them).

i don't care for any of them. good ole mumble-mouth was extremely happy to play politics with our local umass dormitory situation, and i have no reason to believe she'll be any less eager to do that sort of thing on a national scale. as for mr. gail huff, (nice tumble down the route 3 embankment the other day trying to cover that highway fatal, by the way, gail), who used to appear in cosmo magazine centerfolds, i have absolutely no idea how he's figured he's any more qualified.

is this the best we've got? of course not. but it's the best that our party political system will generate for us, and that, more than anything else, is the indictment that i think should stand and convict on all counts.

i'm still voting for khazei, even though he carries the scarlet "D" into office with him if he goes. at least he's done something with his life worthy and deserving of the office.

until then, color me disgusted.

uplifting voter turnout in massachusetts today

i'm having a good chuckle reading all the party faithful gnashing their teeth over their "get out and vote" plea today. the turnout is dismal, and i, for one, couldn't be more encouraged. after all, this is NOT an election--it's a party primary--a private function for the people who are screwing our nation, and screwing it very, very badly. worst of all, it's a soiree that's being paid for by *all* of us, to complete the travesty.

face it, people--we don't have a two party system here in this country--we just have one very big two-headed monster of a one party system, and it's taking us all down with it. think about it. deficit spending--demicans and republicrats are both so in favor of it that our debt burden is likely already too crushing to ever escape without dire, dire penury. foreign policy cock-ups of gargantuan and horrible proportions--our two last administrations have killed more civilians in afghanistan and iraq than any other regime, force or ideology, and there's no end in sight. assault on our constitution and civil liberties--between the patriot act, and it's unconscionable abuse of executive power against the people of the united states, and social-fabric-tearing battles over gay marriage, abortion and you name it, the only thing these "two" parties, who are really only two sides of one, are for, is anything to advance their own agendas and ideologies of graft and corruption and denial of personal liberties.

so it's no wonder to me that nobody but nobody wants to vote for adherents of either crime syndicate.

today is a GREAT day at the polls for we, the people.

let's hope we can keep it going.

it's getting surreal

barbro holmgren, mother to elin, mother-in-law to the tiger, had to be transported via ambulance to health central hospital in ocoee, florida this morning after yet another 911 call from the tiger's den. (as far as i know, no golf clubs were involved in this one, but it's early, and the news vultures have only just begun to circle again).

i absolutely do NOT need to know about this, of course, and neither do you.

HOWEVER

this news does raise one EXTREMELY disturbing question, and that is, does tiger's mother-in-law now possibly live with them in that house on the end of the cul-de-sac? can tiger really be that pitiful?

i don't know much, but i do know a few things about how (certain, not all) women can be very toxic things in a man's life. wives who beat their men with golf clubs in order to achieve their idea of proper behavior are some. their mothers are others.

if i ever get as rich as tiger, two things you can count on: one, i will not be married. two, nobody's mother, not even my own, will be living with me.

somebody's gotta get this man a life coach.