what is "enough"

got asked the classic question the other day, and replied something about being wanted, and something else about clear andalusian sunshine, and instead of sympathy was handed back some trite platitudes about already having everything within my reach and blah, blah, blah.

i sure as hell am NOT wanted, and the rebuff of every vulnerable and searching advance made beneath that sparkling andalusian sun is proof enough of that. and, to be precise, i specifically asked for that sun to be delivered WITHOUT complaints that the villa had no clocks, and other such petty nonsense, and it most certainly wasn't.

you know what? the villa had no clocks on PURPOSE. not just for my own peace and enjoyment, but for the hopeful peace and enjoyment of the entire family i had toiled to earn the money to pay for it.

and, oh... one last thing... that appreciation thing...

who else was going to do that? who else did it? was there even a moment when it was considered to say thank you for my having done it?

i hate myself when i complain, but i think i'm finally figuring out what, exactly, is enough.

bastante.

la paja final.

it's something awfully approximate to exactly this.

meh.