all the front page news that's fit to print
it just keeps getting better and better--after my little chuckle over the bild shenanigans, i heard the friendly slap of my morning paper on the doorstep, and opened the door to find still yet more stuff that you just can't make up:
seems that massachusetts state senator james marzilli, fresh from his exhoneration (for lack of evidence) from accusations of a sexual assault on his home streets of arlington this past april 6th, took his show on the road to beautiful downtown lowell yesterday, and found himself put up in the very accommodating lowell city jail after (allegedly) groping a woman on a public street bench. better yet, said bench was at the corner of middle street, only one over from headquarters here at shangri-lowell, and the foot chase took him down market street, where he had originally attempted to use a false name when confronted by police, and then right past the front steps of my very building, and into the leo a. roy parking garage where he was finally apprehended when the ruse didn't work and he had to try to run for it. though his mouthpiece was characteristically bombastic in his defense, ("he completely and totally denies any of the allegations--they're completely ridiculous, and he will start fighting them tomorrow morning in lowell district court", though no word yet on whether or not marzilli plans to use his nom-de-grope when addressing the judge), it should be pointed out that the majority of downtown lowell here is well-covered by rooftop security cameras, and i expect that we should be seeing video by 11.
you just can't make any of this stuff up.
for their part, the massachusetts republican party immediately issued a statement that, though "senator marzilli is entitled to his day in court", "these are very serious charges and if they are true he should resign".
well, duh, but i was scouring their press release to see if they had anything to say about bruce barclay, (republican county commissioner from cumberland, pa, who videotaped hundreds of sexual encounters, including many with male escorts, using cameras hidden throughout his monroe township home), matthew joseph elliott, (former aide to the mittsters presidential nomination attempt who was recently convicted of sexual exploitation of a child), robert mckee, (republican delegate from western maryland who resigned, after police confiscated two computers, videotapes and printed material in a child pornography investigation, not only his congressional seat but also his directorship of big brothers big sisters of washington county), daniel dean thompson, (a utah retailer of "family friendly" dvds, which, as you may know, are the hollywood products with the dirty bits cut out of them, who was arrested and booked for sexual abuse and unlawful sexual activity with a 14-year old), and derek walker, (former eagle scout and hopeful gop nominee for a congressional seat from north-central pennsylvania, who was charged with felony burglary for breaking into his ex-girlfriend's home and using his cell phone to record video of her in an intimate moment with her new boyfriend).
apparently we're still waiting on those comments...
seems that massachusetts state senator james marzilli, fresh from his exhoneration (for lack of evidence) from accusations of a sexual assault on his home streets of arlington this past april 6th, took his show on the road to beautiful downtown lowell yesterday, and found himself put up in the very accommodating lowell city jail after (allegedly) groping a woman on a public street bench. better yet, said bench was at the corner of middle street, only one over from headquarters here at shangri-lowell, and the foot chase took him down market street, where he had originally attempted to use a false name when confronted by police, and then right past the front steps of my very building, and into the leo a. roy parking garage where he was finally apprehended when the ruse didn't work and he had to try to run for it. though his mouthpiece was characteristically bombastic in his defense, ("he completely and totally denies any of the allegations--they're completely ridiculous, and he will start fighting them tomorrow morning in lowell district court", though no word yet on whether or not marzilli plans to use his nom-de-grope when addressing the judge), it should be pointed out that the majority of downtown lowell here is well-covered by rooftop security cameras, and i expect that we should be seeing video by 11.
you just can't make any of this stuff up.
for their part, the massachusetts republican party immediately issued a statement that, though "senator marzilli is entitled to his day in court", "these are very serious charges and if they are true he should resign".
well, duh, but i was scouring their press release to see if they had anything to say about bruce barclay, (republican county commissioner from cumberland, pa, who videotaped hundreds of sexual encounters, including many with male escorts, using cameras hidden throughout his monroe township home), matthew joseph elliott, (former aide to the mittsters presidential nomination attempt who was recently convicted of sexual exploitation of a child), robert mckee, (republican delegate from western maryland who resigned, after police confiscated two computers, videotapes and printed material in a child pornography investigation, not only his congressional seat but also his directorship of big brothers big sisters of washington county), daniel dean thompson, (a utah retailer of "family friendly" dvds, which, as you may know, are the hollywood products with the dirty bits cut out of them, who was arrested and booked for sexual abuse and unlawful sexual activity with a 14-year old), and derek walker, (former eagle scout and hopeful gop nominee for a congressional seat from north-central pennsylvania, who was charged with felony burglary for breaking into his ex-girlfriend's home and using his cell phone to record video of her in an intimate moment with her new boyfriend).
apparently we're still waiting on those comments...


1 Comments:
That Marzilli story is amazing! And I thought a drunk old guy with a knife threatening to kill everyone at Brew'd Awakening on Sunday was exciting...jeez, I don't think you can beat a park bench grope from a state senator.
Also, let's not forget Mark Foley (the Florida Republican who sent the inappropriate messages to teenage pages) or Larry "Wide Stance" Craig who still hasn't explained why he went to the most out-of-the-way bathroom in the Minn.airport that just happened to be the meet spot for public rendezvous..
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