shoes and other feet
for years i labored in a relationship where nothing of what i was was of much value, especially relative to everything that i was not. (shame on me, right?) the crowning irony of where i've found myself today is that i think it's got as much to do with being lucky enough to be surrounded by people who love me "just the way i are", as from being any bit different, let alone better, than what i used to be. when they might ask me the secret of a long and happy life, should i be lucky enough to live this happy life long enough, and at the same time retain enough ken to have a clue about it, i think i'm going to tell them that my secret was/is choosing to make time for everyone to whom who i am is just what they need me to be--no more, and certainly not any less. (after all, this isn't about cutting corners and living down to low expectations). no penalties for well-intended encouragement to be earl's better person, mind you. just no "why can't you be more..." or any of the people who think that way about me. life's too short. and i promise the same to everyone else in return.
unfortunately, many people i know are caught in that vise of their own misjudgment, whereby "love" or some other such infatuation wound them up with someone(s) with whom they just shouldn't be, except for all the life-glue that's now keeping them together. (kids, for example, are about as sticky as anything yet invented). either they're a perennial "project" for someone else's home's improvement, (and, boy, do i feel for those guys, and, yeah, most of those are guys), or else they realize that what they need can never come from whom they need it most, because those folks will simply never be that, or there. (it's a conundrum why half the world might be never judged good enough, while the other half is stuck with people who truly aren't, kinda like how half the world wants more sex while the other half can't stand the thought...)
know what i think? i think people are crazy. i think they wind up with people who aren't what they should have known they should want--only nobody ever told them or us how to know our hearts and our minds and our needs well enough to recognize the proper embodiment of our happiness.
lucky for me, my shoes are on their other feet now, and they're really very comfy. i know quite a few people who are or were unacceptable to others for one reason or another, and, funny enough, the best reason i know for caring about them as much as i do is usually the exact same reason they were spurned in the first place. (if you've never had sex with someone denigrated in other situations for being too interested in sex, then let's just say you should have that for which to look forward). crazy people. drunkards. even (hardest of all for me at first) stupid people. and you know what? they're *all* good people. take it from one of the worst of all. (crazy, drunk, stupid, you name it).
nothing better than to hear "i love you just the way you are" and know it's true.