that sexy librarian thing

craig ferguson is having some fun about it with sarah palin, but i'm rather talking about the authentic kind--you know, the kind that doesn't (apparently) favor automatic weapons and the belief that dinosaurs somehow were around to get named by adam, yet not eat him and every other contemporary hairless mammal after the fall (do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup) while they were at it. (and you'd think noah or one of the other folks on board would have had something colorful to say about that pair of eighty foot brontasauri below deck that would have made the official god-inspired record, but i digress...)

so about that sexy librarian thing...

one of the most wonderful things about this world of ours, or at least the better-civilized parts of this great country of america, is the free library. you can read today's paper, this week's people magazine, or this month's bestselling tome on the subject of tori spelling, (can you believe that this is what we are reading????), and not have to pay a nickel for the privilege. what could be better than that! cd's... dvd's... books... microfiche back-copies of the lowell sun from 1878... it's all there. and all fronted by your friendly, neighborhood sexy librarian.

ok, i'm making that sexy part up. that is, after all, the part that's in our own heads, much like our rationale for actually paying money to read about the life and times of tori spelling, and not anybody else's business. but the librarian part is way cool, and, actually, when you think about it, good grounds for considering somebody sexy anyway, even if they're not, because they can bring you everything you always wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask. (though you have to be unafraid to ask if you want his or her help to find reuben's misguided little experiment to explain the impersonality of male homosexual liaison, or the "cure" for female frigidity...)

where was i?

OH!

so you know what you can ask for and receive? (receive, as in, wait for it to arrive from the boston public library on loan). a just-for-you copy of the ukulele song book: in notation and tablature, compiled by ron middlebrook. and running through your head, while you're looking at the pertest and most helpful little old lady librarian there is as you ask, are the sweet strains of marilyn monroe from that cool dutch reverese karaoke machine web site, singing boopoopee do and reminding you that everybody was young, once...

every time i pick up that little wooden panacea to all my pains and my ills, and hear the little nylon strings plunk happily along as best as i can make them, i'm young, too.

"i want to be loved by you
just you
and nobody else but you
i want to be loved by you
alone

(boopoopee do)

i want to be kissed by you
just you
and nobody else but you
i want to be kissed by you
alone

i couldn't aspire
to anything higher
than to fill my desire
to make you my own

i want to be loved by you
just you
and nobody else but you
i want to be kissed by you
alone

(boopoopee do)

:-)