why certain airlines are failing
i was incarcerated boston to san francisco on american last night, and on top of having to dodge $20 fees for checked bags, and whatever it is that they might charge for whatever it is that they hallucinate passes for a sandwich on that little pushcart of theirs, (complete with chips in a tube), i had to sit facing a row of 20 year old TV's in various stages of cathode ray decline, all simultaneously screening something i think somebody somewhere figured might pass for a "movie" once, but, WTF, i have never seen anything so insipid and pointless in my life, and those of you who know the truth know that i've even seen a screening of "twilight", so i know the true depths of which i speak.
this particular "movie" was entitled "the time travelers wife", and i've never rooted so fervently for a violent ending since john wayne shot liberty valance, and probably before, but this morning my head is so abused by having sat through that piece of "cinematic" crap that i just can't remember.
some woman somewhere (and you know it'll have to be a woman, cuz they didn't coin the phrase "chick flick" for nothing) will have to explain this all to me. old guy gets creepy attracted to a 10 year old girl, forces himself upon her innocence, and then rigs it up so she'll marry him and have his babies. (who, by the way, for the longest time, keep time traveling outside the womb and dying bloody little deaths for our voyeuristic enjoyment). where in the name of the good love of god is this sort of thing "romantic"??? is it just cuz she's hot (once she comes of age, anyway) and he's hot and folks like to watch hot people get it on and/or hold hands and stuff? later, when it becomes obvious that the guy is gonna buy it sooner rather than later, we're further supposed to think it's ok that he arranges it so that BOTH his 5 year old daughter AND his 5 year old daughter's 10 year old time traveling self will be able to watch him die of his inevitable gunshot wound, and further makes a big deal of telling the kid all about it in advance so she'll know what she'll be seeing...
i know there's something freudian and right that the agent of the guy's not-nearly-premature-enough demise is his father-in-law, but, seriously, things would have been a whole lot better if dad had just pulled the shotgun out the first time he met the guy and figured out there was something wrong with him.
file this one under "can't let yourself sleep or the subsequent jet lag'll kill ya", and "next time borrow a friend's netflix DVD and bring an extra battery for the laptop just in case, cuz you just don't want to see this stuff--you just don't".
no wonder to me nobody wants to fly with these jamokes anymore.
this particular "movie" was entitled "the time travelers wife", and i've never rooted so fervently for a violent ending since john wayne shot liberty valance, and probably before, but this morning my head is so abused by having sat through that piece of "cinematic" crap that i just can't remember.
some woman somewhere (and you know it'll have to be a woman, cuz they didn't coin the phrase "chick flick" for nothing) will have to explain this all to me. old guy gets creepy attracted to a 10 year old girl, forces himself upon her innocence, and then rigs it up so she'll marry him and have his babies. (who, by the way, for the longest time, keep time traveling outside the womb and dying bloody little deaths for our voyeuristic enjoyment). where in the name of the good love of god is this sort of thing "romantic"??? is it just cuz she's hot (once she comes of age, anyway) and he's hot and folks like to watch hot people get it on and/or hold hands and stuff? later, when it becomes obvious that the guy is gonna buy it sooner rather than later, we're further supposed to think it's ok that he arranges it so that BOTH his 5 year old daughter AND his 5 year old daughter's 10 year old time traveling self will be able to watch him die of his inevitable gunshot wound, and further makes a big deal of telling the kid all about it in advance so she'll know what she'll be seeing...
i know there's something freudian and right that the agent of the guy's not-nearly-premature-enough demise is his father-in-law, but, seriously, things would have been a whole lot better if dad had just pulled the shotgun out the first time he met the guy and figured out there was something wrong with him.
file this one under "can't let yourself sleep or the subsequent jet lag'll kill ya", and "next time borrow a friend's netflix DVD and bring an extra battery for the laptop just in case, cuz you just don't want to see this stuff--you just don't".
no wonder to me nobody wants to fly with these jamokes anymore.
Labels: rant
posted by kad barma at 11:13 AM
1 Comments:
I read the book, and as soon as I saw the trailer I knew it was gonna suck. The book was ok, but was already too much about the romance...obviously the movie pushed that too far in the wrong direction.
By the way, in the book at least, he had no control over any of the time-travel, and the first time he met Claire was when they were adults, so he didn't really go back and rig it so she'd marry him...it was slightly less creepy.
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