"dear mike," this one begins, "my 28-year-old irresponsible son thinks life is nothing but a big party..."
of course he does. we learn through the body of the letter that said son was put through, all expenses paid, an exclusive private school as well as his pick of the ivy league, though "the only jobs he has landed have been summer jobs, lifeguard, park ranger, nothing that would require any heavily [sic] lifting". (yes, the sun's editors are still working tirelessly on our behalf). but the payoff comes near the end: "we [the writer's wife and himself] are starting to fight over this [debating whether or not to throw said freeloading ivy-league educated son out on his ass] every night because he is coming home at all hours. last weekend, we found his [sic again] passed out in his bed with two women".
i can't take it any longer. do you have any suggestions?
(oops, that should have also been repeated in quotes, as it's not only the first couple of sentences that comes to mind, but also the close to the letter).
mike recommended counseling for the not-nearly-so-proud-anymore parents, and a quick showing of the door. me, i would spend just a little bit more time on the public ridicule before getting to the boring stuff.
first of all--and i have to start here before getting to the real issues on the table--you know this guy is a loser, despite all his fancy sheepskins and sports trophies, because he's going home with not one but TWO women who like to go home with unemployed guys living with their parents. i mean, seriously. who does that??? (there are obviously three sets of not so proud parents here).
the real point, however, is that you have to know that this has followed years of "my son goes to... and how about yours?" and "my son go into... and how about yours?" and "my son graduated from... and how about yours?", all coming out of the mouths of these two (the parents now) winners since the whole train wreck began back in '82. i was just in dallas this past week, and daily reminded of the joke that "there was once a guy from texas who went to harvard... he didn't know which one to talk about first", and you know that goes double for his parents. i know it's uncharitable, but you know you know people like this, and i'm guessing there will be more than a few of you, given the lifeguard and park ranger clues, who will know exactly who we are talking about here. i went to high school with an entire town full of them.
so mike says kick the kid out and don't look back, but i would suggest it's far too late to fix what's really wrong here, because it all quite obviously began long before said freeloader was even a twinkle in his mummie's and daddie's eyes. if mike really wants to help out, he should ask the questions we all want to have asked, (like, "did he tell the girls it was his parents' house?"), and then publish the names of the two chippies in question as a public service to unemployed guys everywhere who might still be living with their parents. (overprivileged scions of the hopelessly clueless need love, too, you know).
you just can't make this stuff up.
if you're working for a living and feeling the crunch in your wallet or pocket book these days, just consider that glory boy's classmates from his ivy league party school are the ones infesting your government and your local investment bank, and they're hardly any more responsible about their s*** despite perhaps not having mom and dad looking over their shoulders at who might be in their bed in the morning. ;-)
or, put another way: we'd be better off having children of illegal immigrants putting themselves through school with the help of our tax money than this kids like this getting their free ride. (if you don't agree, then you don't realize what's really expensive in this world). yeah, we'd ALL rather have the deserving children of actual citizens putting themselves through school with the help of our tax money, and i'm with you 1000% on that. but the candidates would seem to run out pretty fast, and there would seem to be an entire generation of american kids in dire need of a clue, not to mention a better set of parents.
(never forget that both john forbes kerry and geo dubya bush went to yale).